Here's a little snippet from the book I'm currently working on. It's called Mask and it's a spin-off from Dance.
The door bell rang and Adam hurried
to open the door. Charlie had called about an hour ago to say he’d come by and
bring a bottle of champagne – apparently, he had some big news and wanted to
celebrate. All Adam wanted to do was have Charlie in his arms and not let go
until morning.
Of course he
knew Charlie wouldn’t stay the night. They’d been dating for almost a year and
he’d never stayed. He’d never invited Adam to his own flat either. It was like
Charlie was unable to lower his defences, even a little bit.
Hell, Adam
wasn’t even sure if Charlie was fucking someone else or not. They’d never
promised each other anything.
“Hey,” Adam
said as he swung the door open and let Charlie in.
“Hey,
yourself,” Charlie beamed at him, kissed him, and then headed towards the
kitchen. He was carrying two shopping bags which he put on the counter and
started taking things out.
“So what’s this
great news of yours?” Adam asked as he followed Charlie into the kitchen.
“Remember I
told you we had a meeting with our manager the other day?” Charlie asked. Adam
nodded and leaned back against the counter, folding his arms over his chest.
“He’d managed to get a record company scout interested in the band and he came
to see us play last night,” Charlie continued happily. “After the show he
offered us a contract on the spot. He said we were exactly what (label name)
was looking for!” Charlie finished triumphantly. His gorgeous gray eyes were
alight with enthusiasm, hope and dreams. Adam wanted nothing more than to pull
him in his arms and kiss him until he became the reason Charlie was so happy.
It was selfish and it was desperate, but Adam could just feel Charlie slipping
through his fingers.
“That’s great,”
Adam said, and even managed a smile. “Congratulations, sweets! Let’s pop this
baby open and celebrate.” Adam knew he sounded too cheerful, but there was
nothing he could do about it. He wanted to be happy for Charlie, but something
inside of him, something big and black and horrible, was raising its head. It
was whispering to him, telling him that this was the last time he’d ever see
Charlie, that Adam was not worth staying.
Charlie took
out the champagne glasses while Adam busied himself with opening the bottle. He
poured the bubbly liquid into the glasses and toasted Charlie’s success with a
loud ‘cheers’ before he gulped the whole glass down.
“So when are
you leaving?” Adam asked, placing his glass back on the counter with a thump,
and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“How did
you...” Charlie began, but Adam interrupted him sharply.
“When are you
leaving?” he asked again, growling the words out. Charlie squared his shoulders
and narrowed his eyes in that typical way of his when he was preparing for a
fight.
“In three days.
They want us in L.A. to sign all the contracts and start working on the album
immediately,” he said calmly, but Adam knew that voice. It was Charlie's you’re-not-allowed-in
voice.
“Great. That’s
fucking great.”
Adam stalked
off to the living room, sat on the sofa and ran his hands over his face. He
needed to get a grip. He didn't want to be that
guy. He hated that guy. He didn't
want to care that Charlie was leaving – it hurt too fucking much.
“Adam...”
Charlie said from behind him, startling him. His voice was soft, and yet there
was the undeniable determined undertone. The same fucking voice Charlie always
used when Adam tried to get him to stay the night or go somewhere for the
weekend. Or allow him to say how he really felt.
Fuck this shit.
Adam was done with tiptoeing around Charlie. He was not that guy.
“How dare you?”
Adam said, standing up and turning to face Charlie. “How dare you come to my
home, and expect me to celebrate that you’re leaving?”
“You knew how
much I wanted this, how much my career, my band means to me...” Charlie
started, but Adam's humourless laughter made him pause.
“I fucking love
you, you selfish bastard! We’ve been dating for a year and I could never say
that because you’re such a fucking coward that you’d rather freeze your ass off
waiting for a cab at 2:00 am than sleep with me all night!” Adam shouted,
leaning forward across the sofa and putting his hands on the back. Charlie
didn't move. He didn't say anything, but his eyes grew cold.
Adam laughed
again, shaking his head. He knew that look, too.
“I don’t know
what you want me to say,” Charlie said bitterly. He was gearing up for a fight,
but Adam had no desire for that. It was pointless.
“I know you’d
never stay for me,” Adam said quietly, folding his arms. He hated how he
couldn't control the storm building up inside him, making his hands shake and
his eyes fill with tears. “But I at least expected you to be a little sad. A
little bit disappointed that you probably won’t see me ever again. I expected
you to make an effort to say goodbye properly, to tell me that this past year
has meant something to you.” His
voice broke and he bit his lip to stop it from trembling.
“It did mean
something to me, Adam,” Charlie said and took the small distance separating
them until he was an arm’s length from Adam.
“Don’t,” Adam
said sharply, cutting off anything else Charlie wanted to say or do. He didn't
want to deal with this shit anymore. “Just go.”
“Adam...”
“Go.” Adam
tried to sound firm, angry, commanding. But the word came out as a desperate
plea. He was about to break down and he didn’t want Charlie to witness it.
Charlie took
the last step separating them and wrapped his hands around Adam's neck. Rising
up on his toes, Charlie's lips ghosted over Adam's ear and he whispered, “It
did mean something to me.”
His warm breath
made Adam shiver. The kiss he placed on his neck made Adam's last resolve melt
away. Unfolding his arms, Adam pulled Charlie closer, clutching at his t-shirt
like a lifeline.
“Take me to
bed,” Charlie whispered.
Adam did. He’d
asked for a proper goodbye and he got it.
